The Legend of Tiger Chainsaw Arms
Deep in the heart of northwest Alabama, on the outskirts of a micro brewery called Singin’ River is a small patch of green land named gingko park. The rolling hill is the home to several dying gingko trees and one tiger with chainsaw arms. You might be wondering how this beautiful creature came to possess two chainsaw arms, but unfortunately that story is too painful and heartbreaking to tell— her story really begins as she was looking for love in the Shoals.
This legendary, majestic tiger with an orange coat, jet black stripes, and two large, steel chainsaws on her front two legs is a quiet, kind creature, and often misunderstood. As you can imagine it’s hard to find love when you’re a tiger with chainsaw arms. Often her dates end up running away in fear, or sometimes she accidentally kills them when she goes in for a hug. So, you can see the difficulty she has in finding true love. So, in an attempt to find the one she created a dating profile. She included all of her favorite things including long walks along the Tennessee River, hardcore freeform jazz, and hearty meals of buffalo wings and beer. In her spare time she’s a photographer, avid bird watcher, and loves traveling. Naturally, her dating profile and stunning looks caught the eye of many, but she found that none of them could look past the loud roar of her chainsaws and their frighteningly sharp teeth— if they only got to know who she really was they would see her kind spirit and tender heart.
Discouraged by her search for love, she poured her energy and passion into creating a beer that reveals what’s truly inside all of us. Her delicious, hoppy beer is more dangerous than a tiger with chainsaw arms at 12.1% ABV— watch out, it makes you feel all of your emotions. If you’re happy, you’re the most joyful person in the room, if you’re sad, you might want to have a box of tissues at arm’s length, if you’re angry, your friends will probably be thankful you don’t have chainsaws for arms. What she created is a Belgian Abbey Tripel-American IPA hybrid that is a pale, golden-colored ale with the spicy flavor and aroma of an Abbey Tripel, melded with citrusy American hops. Today, if you look for the Tiger with Chainsaw Arms at gingko park, you will only find dried, rotten gingko berries. She has moved on, having created a gold-winning beer, she is once again in search of love, looking for that one special person who doesn’t mind risking everything to hug a tiger… with chainsaw arms.